Blue Read online

  I nodded, still feeling the thrill running through my body. Those pesky butterflies were back, flittering through my stomach.

  Then he began speaking. And me? I stood with his cold nose against my neck and listened.

  “I got a text from Molly when she was sitting duty last night at the office. Jonelle is fucked. This last stunt cost her the kids. Too many witnesses for her judge cousin by marriage to get her out of it this time. The lab tech is a friend of mine and rushed the bloodwork. Her tests came back positive for this new drug that’s been floating around town. I got an emergency custody order granted to me last night and a crisis hearing set for tomorrow morning. I think it’s going to stick. It’s not over yet, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I don’t think it’s a train this time.”

  This was good news in a way, but there were still two kids caught up in the cross fire between their warring parents. That war was ugly and could get uglier, but at least now there was a chance for a resolution and the children would hopefully come out on top. Whatever happened, I was planning on being there for all of them. “I’m happy for you, Blue. I’m sorry you and the kids still have a rough road ahead, but I’m glad things will get better for you.”

  “I have something else to tell you,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I know you were mad at me for letting Jonelle take the kids when you thought she shouldn’t and you were right. She’s been walking all over me for years now and it’s been hard to take, but I’ve let her do it over and over again. The thing is— Ah, Christ, this is harder than I thought.” He paused, trying to find the right words.

  I waited patiently, giving him time and courage to say what he needed to say.

  He finally blurted, “Cody isn’t mine.”

  If he hadn’t been holding me, I might have fallen from shock. Of all the things he could’ve said, that was the last thing I expected.

  “My name is on his birth certificate. I held him as a newborn, changed his diapers, took him to the doctor when he got sick, put clothes on his back and food in his belly. I love that boy with all my heart, just like I do Michelle. He is my son, just not of my blood. The laws are shaky when it comes to this kind of thing and Jonelle has held that over my head for the last year, threatening a DNA test to take him away from me and split the children up. I couldn’t let that happen and I’ll move heaven and earth to keep my kids safe. Both of them.”

  Blue breathed in deep the warm scent floating from Psalm’s clean skin. He had originally gone to her house to apologize again and reestablish their relationship as friends and friends only. One look at the pink terrycloth tower balanced on her head and the gray mess on her face dispelled that completely. This was for him. The first of the day, he spent dealing with Jonelle’s bail and her parents getting her out of holding. The rest of the day he worked on getting an emergency custody hearing set for Monday morning. He managed to push through and get a different judge than Jonelle’s distant relative, citing the familial connection and conflict of interest. The court didn’t flinch this time.

  The new judge was a young idealist and out to prove herself capable of running with the big dogs in the county. Jonelle screwed up royally when she abandoned the kids in favor of the beer tent and then picked a fight with a woman she thought was flirting with Billy. She was spitting mad when he was forced to put her in cuffs and her pupils had been dilated and wild. The drug test proved she was using again and if it weren’t in such bad taste, he would have danced a big ol’ happy dance. This was the break he needed. The first person he thought of to share this news with was Psalm, but she had been out all day at her folks’ place and he needed to spend time with Michelle and Cody, explaining what was happening to them.

  He was amazed how they reacted to the news their mother had been arrested and there was a good chance they would be living with him from now on. Michelle cried a bit and hugged him, happier than he thought she would be about the move. Cody stuck his finger in his nose and asked if he could have a puppy. Right now, they were still up at the Lair getting spoiled by their grandmother. He spent the rest of the evening scouting new places to live since the massive amount of child support would presumably be reduced or stopped altogether. Spousal support would be stopped as well. Her distant cousin judge had granted it even though Jonelle was not disabled and could find a job. Blue expected the court to rescind that order and make her stand on her own two feet for a change. He was almost giddy with relief.

  Psalm was here in his arms. He needed to clear the air with her. He was tired of fighting the attraction and there was no reason for him to hold back, so why should he? There was just one more bit in his life he needed to share, but if Psalm was the kind of person he thought she was, there wouldn’t be any problem. He was ready for this. He still didn’t know if he had a future with her or could commit to one, but at least for tonight, she was his. He hoped.

  When he shared his news about Cody’s parentage she was quiet. She had been caressing his arms absently while he talked and then stopped when he declared the love he had for his son, for both of his children.

  The stillness was troubling.

  “Psalm?” he breathed.

  She answered by turning in his arms, putting her mittened hands on his cheeks and drawing his face to hers. One touch of her soft lips was all it took.

  He devoured her mouth, his tongue tasting, licking, and sucking at her full lips. One hand went to the back of her head, angling it to the exact place he needed it to be. She held nothing back, letting him touch her, giving him everything.

  His dick was hard and he expected the ride back to town would be rough. He pulled back, just enough to break away and breathe, but his mouth stayed close enough that his lips brushed hers when he spoke again.

  “I can’t tell what’s going to happen tomorrow, next week, or anytime in the future. I sure as hell don’t want to make promises I can’t keep, but I know I need you now. I need your forgiveness for my anger and my stubbornness. I need your kindness and understanding for me and my children. Most of all, I need you to hold me tonight like you love me. Allow me that privilege.”

  It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, but she nodded just a touch. Enough that made his body harden even more in anticipation.

  Sixteen

  The ride back to town seemed shorter, perhaps because all he could concentrate on was the small female body behind him that would soon be under him.

  He managed to control himself when they got into her house and up the stairs to her bedroom. The dogs seemed to sense they needed privacy and they left the room. He was glad he wouldn’t have to toss them out.

  Her room was very feminine without being overly frilly. The kids were safe at their grandmother’s. He was off duty for a change. They had all night and there was no need to rush. He smiled at her as he pulled three foil packets out of his wallet and placed them on the nightstand.

  “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?” she asked on a breathy laugh.

  He smiled again and reached for her, taking her shoulders in his hands and drawing her close. “Yeah, baby, I am. I just hope three is enough.” He sighed into her hair.

  She bit her lower lip. “Um… it’s been a very long time for me, Blue. I’m a little… well, nervous I guess.”

  He kissed her again, long and slow. Taking the time to build the want. She clutched at his arms, whimpering into his mouth as she matched his tongue’s movements with hers.

  “I know, sweetheart. I live across from you and I’ve watched your place from the bluffs. The only males that have been in the house in years are your dogs. We’ll go as slow as you need to. Trust me, baby, I got you.”

  His hands moved to the sweatshirt she wore and lifted the edge. She loosened her iron grip on him and raised her arms, giving him an unspoken answer. He stripped the shirt from her in one movement and dropped it to the floor. She hadn’t bothered to put on a bra earlier and her pink-tipped breasts gleamed in the low light, her nipples tight. He filled one h
and and lowered his head to take the stiff peak in his mouth, teasing and sucking it gently. Her head fell back and she moaned, arching her back for more. He raised her other breast, treating it to the same. Her arms lay around his shoulders as he played with her. He let her go long enough to pop the button on her jeans and push them down along with her simple cotton panties. He could feel her trembling as she stepped out of the garments, leaving her totally exposed to him. Her fingers fumbled at the zipper of his jacket, drawing it down and spreading the black leather open and off his shoulders. He kissed her as he let it drop to the floor, while she stroked her hands over his chest. She tugged at his shirt and he broke away from her mouth long enough to reach behind his head and pull off the fabric in one movement. He laid her back on the bed and swiftly shed his own jeans before joining her, his cock now throbbing from being freed. She visibly swallowed at the sight of it. He spent long minutes playing with her nipples, teasing them with his tongue, sucking them into his mouth, and twirling them with his fingers. She clutched at his shoulders, moaning and writhing under him as he brought her higher.

  “Please, Blue, More!”

  He moved his head down her body, kissing the soft skin of her stomach, delving his tongue briefly into her belly button. She flinched and giggled, and he was pleased to find out she was ticklish before moving lower. Her legs parted without protest at his touch. He spread her wide and gently sucked her clit into his mouth, filling himself with the taste of her want. She cried out and pushed herself into him more, her hand threading through his hair as he licked and sucked at the pulsing bundle of nerves. He took his time, not rushing her to orgasm with a jackhammer tongue, but slowly stroking and savoring each taste and the breathy sounds she made. He pushed one finger into her weeping channel and she cried out again. He knew her body inside as well as out and hooked his finger deep to press against the spot that would drive her over the brink. He circled it, pushing his finger in and out of her and adding another, drawing the pleasure from her, long and slow. She clutched at his hair and writhed under his tongue, grinding and whimpering as he pushed her higher. He felt her losing control and reveled in it when she screamed his name as she came. He eased his fingers out of her and lifted up with one last lick.

  He quickly ripped open a condom packet with his teeth and sheathed himself. He covered her body, holding himself over her with one arm and using the other hand to guide the head of his cock to her soaked opening. He pushed inside her slick channel, the feeling of her giving in and opening around him almost too much for him to handle. She was tight, clenching around him. Sweat broke on his brow as he worked himself in small movements, easing into her. She clutched his shoulders at his slow invasion, gasping as he delved deeper inside her with every gentle push. He finally sheathed himself all the way, nearly coming himself at the feel of her closing around him, pausing for a moment to allow her body to get used to his. He kissed her, giving her back her own taste, stroking his tongue in her mouth.

  “You okay, baby?” he asked, grinding his hips into hers. She inhaled sharply at the sensation and her fingers dug into his shoulders. He grinned and repeated the movement.

  “Oh! I’m—ah!—I’m good,” she panted, lifting her hips to seek more of the same.

  “Hang on to me tight as you can, darlin’.”

  He pulled back and drove back into her slickness, slow and steady, letting her feel every inch sliding in and out, drawing every last ounce of feeling he could. Her arms clung to his shoulders and she shifted her hips to meet every one of his deep slow thrusts and cried out when he hit the right spot. He held himself back, drawing out the time as long as he could, and when she climaxed again she came longer and deeper. The waves of her orgasm were more than he could take and he finally let go, yelling at his own peak.

  Blue stayed inside her, feeling more than just satisfaction. This was where he fit. This was where he belonged. This was the other half of himself he had been missing. Wasn’t it a bit ironic that the part of him he needed the most had been right across the street? It was a sobering thought that he could’ve easily let this moment pass by if it weren’t for Psalm’s persistent claim to be his friend. He finally withdrew from her, slipped into the bathroom to take care of the condom and rejoined her on the bed, lying close to her side, unwilling to have any space between them.

  His head lowered and he kissed her trembling mouth. She was panting and shaking still from the intensity of their coupling. “Baby, you good?” He traced her lips with the tip of his tongue.

  “I had a major crush on you in high school,” she blurted out, unfiltered. “I used to dream of being here like this with you. It was more than I ever could’ve imagined.”

  The look he gave was warm as he ran a hand over her tangled hair. “I’m not done yet. You’re not on birth control by chance, are you?”

  She shook her head. “No. I haven’t needed to be since Adam passed.”

  He kept touching her hair, pulling at the fine strands and arranging them randomly around her face. “You’ll need to get on that soon. I don’t want anything between us when I’m inside you.”

  “Um—does that mean this isn’t for just one night?” she asked tentatively. Blue could see the vulnerability shining in her eyes and he had to tread carefully.

  “I can’t offer you more than this, Psalm. If you can see your way to have me in your bed, no conditions for now, I think we can do at least that. I want more. God Almighty knows I do, but right now this is all I have to give. Will that be enough for you?”

  Psalm looked into his eyes and answered. “I won’t lie to you, Blue. I want more and at some point, this won’t be enough. But I told you once my door is always open to you. I meant it then and I mean it now.”

  Blue leaned down and kissed her softly, settling himself between her open thighs. A few minutes later, he reached for the next condom.

  Seventeen

  Sam woke up with a start and was on his feet in a second, muscles tense, looking for the threat. He moved out of the warm dog house into the tall fenced run and sniffed deeply. The moon was covered by threatening clouds in the cold sky and he could see his breath in the winter air. Something was wrong. He looked back at the big house at the window where his little boy had been waving at him earlier. The window was dark. The hair stood up on the back of his spine and a snarl found its way through his chest and out of his mouth. Danger. He had to get out and find it. Now! He gathered his massive strength, his muscles bunched as he made a giant leap using the roof of the doghouse to power himself up on the fence. Catching the top of the chain link, he pulled himself over, coming down hard on the ground below. The shock in his joints when he landed was heavy, but he shook it off. Pain was something he knew and had dealt with much worse than this. He sniffed the frigid air a few more times and without looking back, he took off into the night.

  Eighteen

  I floated in that place between waking and sleeping. Somehow I knew it was early morning, still dark outside, but right at sunrise when the world hovered on a new and glorious day. A warm male body was pressed against my side, holding me close with one arm across my bare stomach. I dream-smiled, knowing it was Blue in my bed. The words he said to me last night made no promises, but there was a possibility. I never thought I would have that again after Adam and certainly not with my first crush from way back in high school.

  I stretched and shifted, feeling a bit sore in places I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a good kind of sore, one I didn’t mind at all. I felt good. For the first time in months, I’d actually slept and slept soundly. Blue was awake as well and pulled the cover back, baring my breasts. I murmured a protest at the cool air. He covered one nipple with his mouth, teasing it into a hard peak while he brushed his hand over the other one. Twin sensations shot through me and I squirmed against him, coming awake fully with a gasp.

  “Morning, baby,” he mumbled, still sucking on my pink nipple. “Mm… I could get used to this.”

  “Oh, me too,” I purr
ed, arching my back, asking silently for more.

  He gave it. Last night he played with me, igniting fires I had never experienced. I had a good life with Adam and a good sex life as well. At least, I thought I did. Adam was the only man I’d ever been with. I didn’t count the one attempt I’d made after his death. Nothing Blue did to me was the same. He had no inhibitions and took what he wanted, drawing out my pleasure and his with a skill I didn’t think was possible. He touched me in ways I only thought happened in romance novels and I surprised myself by not only allowing it, but luxuriating in it.

  He switched his mouth from one breast to the other, sucking and licking. I moaned as he shifted over my body, settling between my spread thighs. I could feel his hardness pressing against me and I lifted my hips in invitation.

  “I don’t have any more condoms, baby,” he muttered, letting my nipple go with a soft pop. “Tell you what, I’m going to go down on you first, then you suck me off, and we’ll get in the shower together. Deal?”

  He was already kissing his way down my body when his cell phone went off. The sound was shrill and almost as bad as getting doused with ice water. Blue groaned and buried his face in my belly.

  “Fuck! I get so tired of that damn thing!” he groused. “Blake’s on call this week, but half the time Molly ends up calling me anyways ’cause she can’t find his ass.”

  He checked the number and his face changed from mildly irritated to major concern. He answered the phone and put it to his ear.

  “What’s happened?” he asked gravely.

  I sat up, pulling the comforter up to cover myself. The tone of his voice had gone from playful to grim instantly. His face grew tight and I could see rage building in his brown eyes.

  “I’ll take care of it. You just get them to the hospital. Text me updates when you know something.”